A look back at the week...

Three out of nine of my students won prizes at the English contest. I am very proud of them! On the way home afterwards I had the most wonderful conversation with one of the girls. Her English is quite good and she is life smart. We talked about how much time Korean children spend studying, and how stressed out and tired they are. She says she hears stories of children committing suicide because they can't handle the pressure or they did not do well on an exam. When I asked her if she was stressed, she said no, she does not study too hard! She has never gotten less than an "A" and knows that it is a good mark. She told me her mom worries and tells her to study more, but she is happy the way she is. Hurray! I told her she is very smart. We also talked about the quality of life and how if you are always working you may have two cars and a nice house, but no time to spend with you family. It was really interesting having a conversation like this with a 12 year old!

The team teaching presentation went well and I have noticed a change in the way "M" and I interact with one another. She has been much happier and easier to work with. She even invited me out for dinner this Friday. I am looking forward to a better working relationship.

Yesterday I went out with one of my students and her mom and sister. We had the most delicious lunch (pork bbq), went for coffee at the bookstore, then to their house for chatting and more food cooked by the father. The family lived in Singapore for one year and the girls attended an American English school, so there English is quite good. The mother speaks quite well and is not at all afraid to try as so many Koreans are. I had a really good time!

Today I am going for coffee with my friends I go to the orphanage with (we are planning our Halloween party!)and then out for dinner with another Korean family. I am ready for another week of interesting experiences and more life lessons!

Pictures of interest

Here are a few pics of various things in Korea. The food, a cool restaurant that has fish underneath a glass floor...

E for Ego, P for Perception

After a direct and honest conversation with the co teacher that I find challenging to work with, I came to realize a few things:

1. I do not know everything (I know, I bet you are as surprised as I am ;))
While I do know a lot about children and have a lot of experience, that does not mean that I should close my ears to other ideas and perspectives. Especially when I am on another continent!

2. Despite the fact that I consider myself quite perceptive, when my feelings are intertwined with my perceptions, especially if the subject is teaching or something to do with children, I don't exactly always see, shall we say, clearly...?

3. Someone who drives you completely mad, and you struggle to understand, can actually be a good person who is hardly at all what you thought she was.

Now, logically, I knew all of these things before this week. However, I did not get them.

A big challenge for me in Korea is that many things look the same as at home, therefore I get my expectations mixed up. My school looks like many other schools I have worked in, my apartment could easily be one in the South End at home (except for the bathroom!),I have heat and hot water and cable t.v. with some English channels. I can shop in Emart which is very much like Walmart. So, many times I expect things to work as they do in Canada.

When someone says "I don't care!", it generally means that they don't care. In Korea, it can mean, "That is something that you do, I don't think it works the same for me, we should talk about it and see if we can come up with something that works better for both of us." So, even when the English teacher speaks English well, she has difficulty expressing herself and it is easier to say, "I don't care". As you can well understand this can cause problems for a Canadian teacher.

This week I have been made aware of just how much my expectations cloud my perceptions. In Kenya, I could literally see how different the situation was. In Korea, I have to look a little deeper. If I can do that, I think I will have a more satisfying experience.

Oh, My Seoul

The foreigner section of Seoul (Itaewan) is diversity at its best. People of all different ethnic groups, a melting pot of different restaurants (we ate Greek and Middle East) and I heard French, German, and some African language as we made our way down the street. Ya hoo! I was in heaven. If there is a heaven, I hope Itaewan is one of the cities there.

The eating was one of the best parts. In Mokpo, there is no such thing as diversity in anything. The people are mostly Korean, I have only seen one black person (another teacher), and the restaurants are very similar; they mostly serve food that I do not like! We enjoyed Starbucks, (I devoured a chai tea latte), the Outback (yummy a real steak!), sampled the tasty wares at the Paris bakery, ate pitas with hummus and babaganoush (forgive my spelling, I am off duty!), chicken and pork souvlaki, roasted lamb chops... See what I mean about heaven?

Our new friends Liz and Dawn came down from Suwon (about 40 mins away) and took us to a fabulous book store. I was hypervenelating, no kidding. I could not contain my excitement and joy. Of course, I went a wee bit overboard (Marnie had to lend me $30.00 cause I did not realize how much I was spending), but I came away with 4 delightful novels, a bingo game, and two teaching books. I even put a few things back.

The weekend was super fun! The company was great, went to see Seoul Tower, took a gondola ride, slept in a great place for only $40.00 a night. Hmmm... except for getting on the wrong train on the way there, the trip was a success!

The kids

After a challenging day at school, it was another great night at the orphanage. One of the sisters, Sister Thomas Moore speaks English very well and I had the chance to chat with her. She told me that her congregation runs the place and it is government supported. They also receive donations. When I asked her if it was enough, she told me it was.

She also agreed to let us come and "play" on the weekends if we want. Yippeee! I did not want her to think I was crazy, but I let it slip that I wanted to live there too. She looked at me incredulously and said, " oh yea? Come on!"

Thinking

I have been thinking a lot this week; about various things. Hard to say what started it, but I believe it began the night of working in the orphanage. I had been tired and grumpy that day. Little things going wrong and getting on my nerves. I was quite frustrated by the the time I arrived at Marnie's to be picked up to go see the kids.

Of course my bad mood did not last long. How could it? Those cuties chased away all my scary monsters, for the evening anyway. I left feeling happy and purposeful, the latter being something I hadn't felt much of lately.

I am here to teach, but many times I do not feel as though I am actually teaching the children. I entertain them, usually, that's easy. However, what I believe to be teaching does not match what Koreans believe to be teaching. I have kept a positive attitude and tried to find ways to implement my ideas into the lessons, with some success. "Well that's great Nancy", you say. But on the whole, I am not feeling like a teacher.

It is important to me to try and live my beliefs, to meander through life guided by my values, and I apply that to my teaching. I find it very challenging to do that here. Maybe this is part of being a new teacher, maybe I haven't found my way yet. I imagined that I would be wildly successful, teaching enriching lessons, being appreciated for my gifts, and that I would stand confident in my shoes. Instead, I often feel that I have to put my true self on the back burner in order to be successful. She comes out here and there, sometimes well received, other times, not so much. Usually I just go along with the positive attitude, but I suppose it has been getting me down this week.

I try to keep my focus on the children, I tell myself that is what is important. I have been sitting with groups of kids outside at lunch chatting, joining in in thier games. Today I left my office and went outside around 4pm (probably not supposed to do this)and talked with a few kids while watching others play soccer. It was great. It is difficult to connect with the students when I only teach them once every two weeks. The relationship you have with your kids is vital to a teacher. I have been missing that connection and connections in general.

I do have at least one ally at school, who believes in me and my teaching. When I write that tears come to my eyes; I have struck a cord. I suppose I have always been well supported back home, ridiculously praised by mentors and experienced teachers (thank you Nikah, Linda, Nancy, Warnie, Val, Kristin, Lorraine, Joanne, Linda V). I think they confirmed what I had hoped about myself all along; I have a gift. I have not had enough time to seal that deal inside myself, before the winds changed. I worry that I will not develop and grow as a teacher this year. I want to be lead by the needs of the children, not by the "Korean way" or what is politically correct.

Sometimes I feel as though I come from another planet. I saw the tale end of two boys fighting the other day and I was so concerned. I saw one of the boys and he had a big scratch on his face and he was crying. It was heartbreaking. I tried to console him, but he just wanted to get away. I worried about him all afternoon and tried looking for him to no avail. Other teachers did not seem too concerned. Once a girl was crying right outside one of the English teacher's door and she simply ignored her, even after I asked if she thought everything was alright. In the classroom, I always think about the student's self esteem, about building it up, where as the Korean teacher seems unaware and oftentimes does things I don't agree with.

There are many things on my mind this week: My family,how will I last a year without seeing them? Why exactly am I in Korea?, What do I want to achieve this year?, just to mention a few.
I will just have to remind myself that I believe in me and see where this path takes me.

I think I like Mondays

I have always wanted to work in an orphanage. Monday night I got my chance. That was the first of many nights that I will volunteer at a home for orphans. Each Monday evening for one hour I will teach (informally) English to a few children. My first time entailed sitting around a kitchen table with three children ages 11,11, and 12. Two boys and a girl. Oh, what fun! We talked and laughed, they learned a little English, I learned a little Korean.
There is a warmth radiating from that house. The women who work there are very kind and loving towards the children. I immediately felt at home. The kids are so sweet. They were eager to be near us and I had to restrain myself from scooping them up and squeezing them tight (thus frightening them)! The hour flew by and I did not want to leave. I asked if we could stay and play, but one of the sisters had to drive some of the other children back to another orphanage near our part of town. I cannot wait to go back!
The children ran alongside of the van as we drove away; it reminded me of Kenya. I am so happy that I get to see them every week and feel as though I am doing something good. As I walked home my heart was brimming over with joy. I wonder how they will react when I show up on the doorstep with my suitcase!

Pictures

Pictures, described in the following post:

My school

The first picture shows all the children at CheongHo Elementary doing their excercises. Usually at recess, sometimes in the morning, the whole school gets together for a bit of calastetics! (spelling? too lazy to check!)I, as you might have already imagined, watch from the window. ;)

The Food:
I know you may have been trying to see this in your mind, well now you can see for yourself! The cafeteria provides metal trays for us to eat our lunch on (think prison break). As I only eat some of the foods, oftentimes my tray has some empty spaces. We line up and move through the serving line, being served by nice ladies (who are camera shy!)in pink rubber aprons and pink rubber boots.
I have my own special cafeteria lady friend who always looks out for me and my lack of interest in eating fish with eyes and sweet potatoe stems. She runs in the back and fries me eggs when I only have rice on my tray. She sets aside for me yummy apples and cucumbers that have not been smothered in that HOT red pepper sauce that Koreans love so much. When there is beef in the soup (she knows a Canadian girl needs her beef!)she sets aside a metal bowl especially for me with just the meat, as she has noticed that I never eat the soup(I don't think she knows that I think the broth always tastes like dirty feet). I love my cafeteria lady!!!

The Kids:
Because I have 1300 children in my school, it is very difficult to get to know them. I teach 4 grades that have 6 classes each, each class having round 36 students. You do the math!
However, as with any situation, there are those who stand out. And wouldn't you know it, the boys are my favorites (mom: apparently this will come in handy when I have my son!) Every student that I really enjoy (with the exception of one) is a boy. They are just so sweet! Well, not all of them are what you would traditionally describe as sweet, but I love them anyway! I even got a present from a grade three cutie (his only English word is "what?!" which comes out sounding like the godfather)this week. Mind you, it is a book about God, written in English, but who cares? I got a present!

My "Office":
Since I am such a fabulous English speaker (thanks be to the universe for having been born in Canada), I am on display in the teacher's room/Vice principal's office, so all who wish can practice their English with me. My desk faces the window, overlooking the hall! No matter; I have figured out most of the Korean commands on my computer, have my regular little visitors (who dare brave coming into the room off limits to the students), get lots of food presents (grapes, clementines, juices, terrible rice cakes that taste like erasers, as Christa says), and the principal gets to see me making stuff which leads him to believe I am a great teacher!
SIDE NOTE: I am a great teacher, but the principal has never ever seen me teach!

Ode to alone time

Being "alone" this week has been divine. In the whirlwind of activity that comes with moving to a new continent (discovering my city, the neighbouring cities, the food, the job, the language, group of 40 other white people you automatically become a member of)I had forgotten about "me" time. I had a day here and there, but not like this week. Each day after work I came home and relaxed, read, fell asleep early, got up early, etc. One night I went to the bookstore and read English books! I even bought one; one of the silly Shopaholic books that has kept me feeling light and laughing at Becky Bloomwood's hilarious mishaps.
The need for retreat came after last week's Jeju Island adventure. I left that trip feeling emotionally exhausted. When I feel emotionally exhausted, I see things in a different light, but it also forces me to stop and re-examine. At the beginning of the week I wanted to be alone because I did not feeling like "sharing" myself with anyone. As the week wore on, I began to have fun, to look forward to getting home alone, wondering how I would enjoy my evening. Now let me clarify: Staying home alone because you want to is very different than staying home alone because you are isolated, haven't many friends, etc. When the choice is not available to spend time with people you enjoy, well that is simply not fun! (I have also had that experience!)
The change came mid-week after having a webcam date with my mom. Man, we have the best talks! I can be myself with her; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I was starting to feel rested, and after talking with her, many things were sorted out in my head. This allowed me to put down my suitcase of disconnection, isolation, lonliness, and frustration that I had been dragging around for the past few weeks. Now, I said I put in down, but I have not yet put all those things in their proper place. I suspect that will come in the near future.

Things that bring me joy...

Nancy's joy list (in random order):

listening to the sound of ocean waves
taking a nap with my special blanket
warm mugs (floral) of tea
making a campfire
speaking french
making connections
watching my sister blossom
playing the comforter game with Bailey
kissing/sniffing Bailey's head
biting into a large juicy apple
the site of cosmos on the roadside
playing with small children
milkshakes at the pink room
looking at the puppies in the doggy window
taking care of Taylor
fuzzy socks
dipping my feet in a river/lake
teaching
a walk in the woods
a good book
my relationship with my mom
feeling loved
helping others
philisophical conversations
listening to someone play guitar
hanging out with dad
reading Junie B
Maddy
petting Bella
quiet moments

Jeju, I'm yours

Wow. That is the word that comes to mind when I consider what to write here. Wow, for the shattered expectations, and wow, for the experience.
Jeju Island is said to be the Hawaii of South Korea. It far exceeded any expectation I had. Rather than try to describe the beauty, I will let the pictures speak for themselves.
We (seven in our group) rented a van complete with driver to take us on a two day tour of the island's attractions. We went horseback riding, went on a submarine ride, swam at night in the ocean, rode ATVs (soooo fun!), roasted hot dogs over a campfire, took a ride on a super fast jet ski boat, and visited waterfalls. I will post more pictures when I receive them from my friends.
I am continuing to learn about others and how to move through this life harmoniously, side by side, without giving up pieces of myself, and without infringing on their journey. It is difficult. Where I need to put up fences, I end up putting up walls. Instead of closing the door (to myself) gently, I slam it, and my irritation is obvious to those on the otherside. I am blinded by the need to protect myself.
I thought the hard part was achieving peace within myself, but I am discovering that the real challenge is how to let that peace and acceptance blossom within you and be able to extend it to others.

W is for Wando

Wando is what I imagined Mokpo would be like. Slow, quiet, small. Best of all there is a gorgeous beach. I have been disappointed many times by my expectations since coming to Korea, so for this visit I had none.
I was pleasantly surprised. The beach stretched on and on and could rival any of my favorites back home. The temperature of the water was similar to lake water. I relaxed on the beach all day, napping, chatting. At night we had a campfire and I slept outdoors in a gazebo type thing that had a roof and a floor, but no walls. I could spend many a weekend like that!

Pictures

This puppy is in the window of the puppy shop that I pass every morning on my way to work. I usually stop on the way there and on the way home for a little cute critter fix. Sometimes I go in and play with them while the Korean ladies stare at me and try to convince me to take the big not so cute dogs home with me! I keep wanting to get a puppy or a kitty so I can pretend it is Bailey and have my best furry buddy here with me.
The picture of the kids are my students at school. They are participating in the shopping area of the English Zone. I lead the activities here usually twice a day for twenty minutes each time. The kids have their choice of visiting the doctor, going to the airport, eating at a restaurant or going shopping. There are very silly and boring dialogues that accompany these stations, but I never use them. Every day it is something different. There are so many students it could be 3 months before I see the same group again! They come by class and usually 5-6 at a time. Sometimes it is really fun, other times kind of dull. Depends on the kids that are there and the mood that I am in. It is not at all planned, just an off the cuff, improvisation, with the goal of getting the children talking. I input teaching moments when needed. Sometimes the kids are so funny!