It's been a long time...
Wow, it has been awhile since I posted. Not a lot to report, experienced a few setbacks, but am back on track now. Only 2 months (and a few days) left of teaching and then I am off on vacation!! Woo hooo! I am heading back to Bali (Ketut has promised a tour) and to Thailand for the first time. Can't wait.
I have decided to go home to Canada for awhile. I did want to take off to somewhere else after a month, but I think Canada will be a welcome relief. I miss proper teaching, relationships with kids, and of course all the other things that home has.
This year has really made a mark on my soul. What comes first to my mind are the challenging things, the bad experiences. However, believe it or not, there have been some positive things too. Wait...did I really say that? I have learned more about myself and have definitely grown. Some of it was painful growing, but necessary I think. I ended a friendship that I should have ended long ago and despite the hurt, managed not to shut myself off again. If anything, maybe I have opened up more. It is much more clear who and what kind of people I want in my life. This is something I struggle with. I would rather stay home and watch t.v. than hang out with someone who is "fine". I choose not to spend my time with people I don't have anything in common with. It seems as though I am always defending this choice. When you are in school, or in Korea teaching, there are a lot of people around you that you have no desire to spend time with. But, often in an effort to fit in, I do anyway. In the past I have twisted and turned trying to make my round self fit into the square hole!
The last month has been really difficult emotionally. I had a significant problem at school with a co-worker ( I actually told her she was a bitch! Which I have never done anything like that in my life) and my sweet little puppy died. I tried to help him but he was not strong enough. For about a week I really did not care about anything. I was so stressed from Korea in general, that these two things combined pushed me right over the edge. I cried so much about Jack (the puppy), I surprised myself. He was to be my source of happiness for my remaining time in Korea.
Slowly, but ever surely, I am feeling more like myself again. I resisted the urge to shut myself off. The co worker problem is being managed and I have only a short time left here. I have a tendancy to think in absolutes, negative ones, and I must learn to stop this. There is always tomorrow and even though we can't see it at the time, things usually do work out for the best.
When I was a kid and things got bad, I would always think about tomorrow. I loved the song from Annie and would often try to sing it in my best C minor (as Bob says) off key voice! So, when things get rough, just remember that tomorrow is another day, another chance, another opportunity for things to be different. Hopefully, things will be great!
I have some new pictures of the kids and the interesting Korean bathrooms, but I am at school so I will have to do it from home.
Stay tuned...
I have decided to go home to Canada for awhile. I did want to take off to somewhere else after a month, but I think Canada will be a welcome relief. I miss proper teaching, relationships with kids, and of course all the other things that home has.
This year has really made a mark on my soul. What comes first to my mind are the challenging things, the bad experiences. However, believe it or not, there have been some positive things too. Wait...did I really say that? I have learned more about myself and have definitely grown. Some of it was painful growing, but necessary I think. I ended a friendship that I should have ended long ago and despite the hurt, managed not to shut myself off again. If anything, maybe I have opened up more. It is much more clear who and what kind of people I want in my life. This is something I struggle with. I would rather stay home and watch t.v. than hang out with someone who is "fine". I choose not to spend my time with people I don't have anything in common with. It seems as though I am always defending this choice. When you are in school, or in Korea teaching, there are a lot of people around you that you have no desire to spend time with. But, often in an effort to fit in, I do anyway. In the past I have twisted and turned trying to make my round self fit into the square hole!
The last month has been really difficult emotionally. I had a significant problem at school with a co-worker ( I actually told her she was a bitch! Which I have never done anything like that in my life) and my sweet little puppy died. I tried to help him but he was not strong enough. For about a week I really did not care about anything. I was so stressed from Korea in general, that these two things combined pushed me right over the edge. I cried so much about Jack (the puppy), I surprised myself. He was to be my source of happiness for my remaining time in Korea.
Slowly, but ever surely, I am feeling more like myself again. I resisted the urge to shut myself off. The co worker problem is being managed and I have only a short time left here. I have a tendancy to think in absolutes, negative ones, and I must learn to stop this. There is always tomorrow and even though we can't see it at the time, things usually do work out for the best.
When I was a kid and things got bad, I would always think about tomorrow. I loved the song from Annie and would often try to sing it in my best C minor (as Bob says) off key voice! So, when things get rough, just remember that tomorrow is another day, another chance, another opportunity for things to be different. Hopefully, things will be great!
I have some new pictures of the kids and the interesting Korean bathrooms, but I am at school so I will have to do it from home.
Stay tuned...
posted by Nancy at
2:07 PM
1 Comments:
I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. I worry about you. You have definately had a rough go. I hope that you're trip to Bali will wash away all the negative experiences you've had.
Hugs.
Mel
By
Melanie, at 7:37 PM
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